Today, I have been thinking about why I am so negative about my life. I keep thinking that I should change it and adjust it in order to be happy and not so stressed. But I think it is not really about te people around me or the life I created, its about the way I look and think about it.
The last few weeks I have been a little stuck in negative thinking and seeing everything around me going “wrong”. I, a perfectionist, can find a fault in everything without effort, and I get really demotivated and unhappy if it is not all perfect in my eyes. And I kept feeling a little down, waiting for everything to fall into place and make me feel happy.
But than I let the thoughts I thought about what my life should be go. I tried to accept it for what it was and forced myself to stop thinking about all the ways that were wrong or imperfect about my life. I let go of my image of the perfect life I should be building for myself. I stopped feeling really sorry for myself and tried to look at my friends in a more compassionate way. Not only looking to my friends in a compassioned way, but also towards myself. Maybe even trying to see myself as a kid, who is trying really hard but fails sometimes. To see all the people around me also as little kids, who are trying really hard too. And to give everyone around me some room to make mistakes and be different.
This world is not about being perfect and being normal. Why should you worry about being different when you are really really happily different?
My point is, being imperfect myself, or the world around me, is not making me unhappy. But my constant obsessive thinking that it should not be is my biggest challenge in being happy. And that just accepting it and looking towards it as a beautifull little mess will make you feel a lot better on the long run.
I hope that you, also find some peace in this.
Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. ~ Marilyn Monroe